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Parenting Neurodivergent Kids
My Experience Parenting a Neurodivergent Son
My second child, Kyle, was unique right from his birth. In the hospital, Kyle didn’t cry, he had his own unique high-pitched squeal.
At age two, he was diagnosed as being on the Autism spectrum. In the testing room, Kyle stood a toy train on its nose and clapped as it tipped over. He lined up matchbox cars and had no interest in cuddling a baby doll.
As he grew, kids often couldn’t relate to him. He would giggle at nothing in particular, hum to himself, and repeat lines from movies. He found safety in the tight quarters of a large box, or the storage space under the stairs. If I bought him something at the store he would scream hysterically when I removed the item from his hands to pay for it.
I had to find new ways to teach him, new ways to socialize him, and new paths toward his goal of independence. He had savant abilities in math and geography, and delays in language comprehension.
With determination, I found teachers and therapists to help Kyle improve his communication skills and functional skills. The University of San Diego was a great resource. Plus, Kyle had loving family members including six siblings who refused to let him stand alone.
After high school graduation, Kyle began saying, “Mom, I want to be independent.” It became his mantra. As worried as I was, I needed to allow him that opportunity. After learning job skills in a specialized state program he moved into an apartment temporarily with one of his brothers, who made sure he was ready to live alone before moving out.
I knew Kyle had achieved his goal when I drove home from a work meeting one afternoon and passed him happily walking down the street carrying his own groceries. He continues to surpass my expectations each and every day.
I recently spoke at a Comicon convention about neurodivergent children in literature. I happened to mention I had an adult son with autism who was now living independently. To my surprise, the audience began to clap, and then gave me a standing ovation. It was an overwhelming moment of emotion for me. Parents of special needs children are invisible soldiers who deal with exhaustion, heartbreak, judgement, and ignorance, usually in isolation. It’s a wonderful thing to be acknowledged and supported as we strive for the inclusion of our children.
​As the mother of an autistic son, Kristyn has written hundreds of special needs parenting articles. Some have been reprinted in Pathfinders for Autism, Autism Speaks, Health Central.com, Disabled World, Autism Web.com, The Angelman Org, Homeschool World.Org, and more.
All kids use their five senses to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch things around them. But did you know nobody experiences their senses exactly the same way? This is why your best friend might like spicy salsa, and you might like mild. Or you might think a flower is stinky, and your mom thinks it smells great!
Some things in our environment can make us feel pain or irritation. For example, when the sun is too bright, it bothers your eyes. You might put on a pair of sunglasses to feel better.
Kyle T. Malone is a very sensitive kid. He feels things intensely, like a sweater itching his skin. Dishwasher sounds or crowd noises hurt his ears. But Kyle has found amazing ways to cope. He can hide like a hermit, run away like an athlete, or use headphones like a spy.
What sights, sounds, tastes, or sensations do you like the most? Which ones bother you the most? What do you do to cope? How could you be friends with a kid like Kyle T. Malone?
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